Friday, February 21, 2014

The HOUSE OF SELF-INDULGENCE ruminates over that timeless classic THE TOXIC AVENGER.


Am I crazy or are the first fifteen minutes of The Toxic Avenger the greatest fifteen minutes ever to be captured on film? What's that? Oh, I am crazy. Whew, that's a relief. For a second there, I thought I had just witnessed something truly spectacular. Hold on, it's coming back to me. Let me set the scene. A fitness club in New Jersey, scratch that, a health club in new Jersey (watching a film a second time really helps when it comes to remembering minor details). A virtual cornucopia of tight bodies poured into leotards thrusting and heaving to the song "Body Talk" by Sandy Farina. If you head down to the pool area of said health club, you'll see hot chicks in bikinis for as far as the eye can see. Don't look now, but a toothy blonde is soaking her already moist vagina in a swimming pool adjacent hot tub. A leggy brunette in a shirt-dress with the word "Whaaam!" written on it in a comic book-friendly font (I think the word "wham" may have only contained two a's, but I decided to add an extra one for dramatic effect) is sauntering through the locker room with a leggy aplomb. Did I mention there are headbands-a-plenty? No? Well, it looks like I just did. Watch, as a toothy blonde in Pony International apparel takes a break from playing racquetball to plan and conceive the event that will change Tromaville forever with her scumbag friends. (Whoa, "scumbag"?!? How do you know they're scumbags? The film is, like you said, still in its infancy as far as running time goes.) Trust me, they're scumbags. Actually, it's all about perspective. If you think purposefully running over little kids with your car is behaviour worthy of the scumbag moniker, than you might want to call them that. If, however, you don't think it's worthy, you might think I was a tad hasty in my harsh judgment of them...
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Bill Mantlo, one of the best comics writers EVER, needs your help!

From BLEEDING COOL

Tragically, as LifeHealthPro’s Bill Coffin documented in a tremendously moving article a few years ago, Mantlo was struck by a hit-and-run driver in 1992 and suffered traumatic brain injury. If you love Rocket Raccoon — or Rom or the Hulk or the Micronauts or Cloak and Dagger or any of the incredible characters Bill Mantlo wrote during his prolific career — please consider clicking the button below to send your donation to Bill’s brother Mike for Bill’s ongoing care...

 

WAIT A MINUTE! What if Jenny at 867-5309 was really Jessie's girl?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The SpongeBob Squarepants adaption of THE WATCHMEN

From i09





MILLHOUSE APPROVED!

 

Well, this week was a lot less productive than I had expected….

Sorry about the lack of fiction and updates in general around here, overtime and stress have been a running theme for 2014 so far. The doctors are still not sure what is causing my wife's pretty much daily seizures and with her unable to work it is up to yours truly to be the breadwinner for one wife, one daughter, three dogs, one bird and a cat with commitment issues.

Still though the bird is pretty cool so I got that going for me…


I hope that next week there will be a new installment for THE COLD INSIDE and THE NIGHT BLOGGER as well as a video reading of one of my stories.